One Small Surprise
by GandalfTheBass
Summary: Captain Picard discovers a terrifying secret, that Dr. Crusher is pregnant with his child. His life soon turns to one disaster after another. He is forced to make many decisions that could change his life forever. Picard must find his sanity amid the many catastrophes and adventures on the U.S.S. Enterprise.
1. Chapter 1

Picard had a problem. A big, no, actually a rather small problem. Dr. Crusher was pregnant.

Never, not in a million years, would he ever have expected this. Picard sighed. Even after years of being captain, he was still taken by surprise quite a lot.

Even more than surprised, the captain of the Enterprise was embarrassed. Sooner or later, everyone was going to find out about the baby. What would Will think? What kind of innocent, yet disturbing comment would Data make? Would he lose all respect from his crew?

Picard was humiliated. Never once, in any starfleet records, was a captain, with such terrible dishonor, getting his chief medical officer pregnant! So far, Jean – Luc Picard's name had a spotless reputation. What would this unborn child do to him? Would he be shunned or even demoted?

The one thing that nagged at the back of his mind was the biggest problem yet. Wesley Crusher. Picard very truly disliked this kid. After all, every relationship has a downside. Beverly was a kind, sweet, and knowledgeable woman, with a heart aching for love. Then the downside was her son. A disgusting, rude, ignorant , know – it - all, and he was dearly loved by his mother.

Picard put his shiny baldness into the palm of his hand and sighed. He was thinking too hard. He didn't even notice when Riker and Troi left for their coffee break.

"Deanna, do you think something is wrong with the Captain? He seems like... depressed or something." Riker explained as they stepped off the turbolift.

"Yes, I do. I sense strong emotions coming from him. However I don't think he's depressed, more confused."

"Riker stroked his beard, thinking. "Confused? Hmm...," he thought back to everything that had happened in the last couple months. He didn't think that there was anything that would make the captain confused. In fact, nothing exciting had gone on for months.

Troi sipped her coffee. "It's probably a bunch of feelings jumbled together, most likely a result of stress." She hesitated, "It does seem a bit odd that he should be stressed, though. Do you think we should tell Dr. Crusher?"

Riker patted Troi on back as he stepped off the turbolift. She smiled. She really liked Riker. He was sweet, adorable, and just an amazing person. She told the lift to go to sickbay. She and Riker had decided to talk to Dr. Crusher about Picard's abnormal feelings. It wasn't like Picard to feel anxious for no reason. Even when everyone else got worried, the captain always kept a cool head, but it wasn't just anxiety, it was something else, something deeper. Whatever it was, she wanted to help him.

As Troi entered sickbay, she saw Dr. Crusher helping a yellow shirted ensign with is electrical burn. She waited until he left and then began.

"Doctor, I believe something is troubling the captain."

"Deanna, you can't just go snooping around in other people's heads. Its really not your business if the captain is having issues!" she snapped.

Troi was taken aback by the doctor's heated response. She said calmly, "Beverly, I wasn't snooping around in his head. It was actually very obvious. Commander Riker was the first one to notice it."

Beverly nodded, still annoyed, "Fine, go on."

"He seems confused, and his mind is clouded with dread and regret."

The doctor's eyes suddenly widened and she whipped around, pretending to brush dirt off a bed. Troi couldn't see her face, but the tips of her ears grew pink. She knew the doctor was embarrassed, but she couldn't understand why.

"Doctor, are you alr...,"

"Yes, I'm fine Deanna," the doctor cut in, " I guess if you think the captain needs to see me, the send him down when you go back to the bridge. I'm sure you should've been getting back already. Your coffee break is already over. Everyone is probably wondering where you are. Goodbye now." Her hands were tightly clasped together and a few beads of anxious sweat appeared on her forehead. Troi looked at her one more time and headed out the door. What was going on with these people?


	2. Chapter 2

When Troi finally left, Dr. Crusher relaxed. She wasn't sure how she felt about Deanna, she was probably the nicest person she knew, but something about her always annoyed the Doctor. It was probably mostly jealousy, although she would never admit it. If it wasn't jealousy of her as a person, then it was definitely jealousy of her situation. Dr. Crusher would almost kill someone to be in Troi's position. She had the perfect job. She was important enough for everyone to respect her, but not ranked high enough to have to make huge decisions. Secondly, she had a perfect boyfriend. The doctor wasn't even sure that Will and Deanna were dating, but they obviously cared for one another. Riker was everything you could want a man to be. He was honorable, kind, talented, good with children, and he was the 1st officer of the Enterprise! Yes, she was in love with the captain of the Enterprise, but he lacked many of the good qualities Riker possessed. The one thing she absolutely could not stand about Picard was his hatred of children. Especially Wesley. Ever since her husband passed away, Wesley was the most important thing in her life, and Picard absolutely hated him! Nothing ever went right for her, but it always worked out for Troi. That was exactly the reason why Troi was the last person Dr. Crusher wanted to know she was pregnant.

Picard trudged into sickbay with his bald head down. He was surely going to be raged at. He saw Dr. Crusher draped over her desk and immediately felt bad for thinking she would yell at him. He ran over to her and wrapped her in his arms. She sobbed into him until a wet spotted formed on his uniform.

"Doctor...Beverly dear, I'm sorry."

"Me too, Jean – Luc, me too."

"Its not so bad, you're just going to have to raise another baby."

Beverly's head snapped up and she struck Picard across his bald head." That's all you can say? I don't guess you were thinking of helping me raise it at all!If it wasn't for you, I never would have had to deal with this! If it wasn't for you I never would have been pregnant!"

A few awkward seconds of silence passed. Only then did they notice small breathing sounds. It was Wesley.

"Boy! Get back in your quarters," growled Picard.

"You r...,"started Wesley.

Picard cut him off. "Go!"

"Mom!" Wesley's eyes widened.

"Leave!" screeched the captain.

Wesley left and Dr. Crusher crossed her arms. "I... don't... ever... want... to... hear... you... talk... to... my... son... like... that... ever... again." Her eyes burned with disgust.

Picard was infuriated. "Don't forget who's the captain..."

"I know who the captain is and I know he's supposed to be nice. You son of a.." she stopped herself. She glared at Picard, the marched into her office and slammed the door.

Picard had just gotten the silent treatment. _Burn..._


	3. Chapter 3

Once Picard returned to the bridge, and the Enterprise was steadily cruising across the galaxy, Riker dared to ask the question he had been wanting to ask for months.

"Hey Captain?"

"Yes? What is it Number One?"

"I was thinking, well...um, you know those banquets we used to have all the time when we first got the ship?"

"Of course, Commander, how could I forget?"Picard smiled.

"Well, then do you think we could have one this week, maybe?"

"Why do you want to have one now, so suddenly?"

"They're fun and they make the crew more lively. I just thought we should do something exciting, since we haven't in a while."

Picard thought about it. It definitely would make the crew happy. He thought it would probably do him some good too. Maybe he could tell everyone about the baby then. Maybe he could make it sound like a big, misfortunate, joke. That way, no one would think poorly of him.

"Well, Number One, I don't see why not."

Riker's face lit up. He beamed, "Thank you Captain! I'll have it set up in two days." He settled back into his seat, grinning.

Picard had never seen his first officer so excited. He was practically shaking with happiness. Picard wished he was Riker, so happy and excited all the time. He was so smooth and stylish and got all the ladies. He could actually keep a steady relationship for more than a week. Picard was so jealous, he thought he would throw up. The more he thought about it, the queasier he got. He started to get dizzy. He couldn't go to sickbay to get a hypo, though. He couldn't face the doctor.

"Number One, take the bridge." said Picard, who then bolted for the turbolift.

He barely made it into his quarters, when a thick, slimy, ooze erupted from his throat.


	4. Chapter 4

It was the day of the banquet. Picard was still queasy and had been ever since the day Riker asked him about having the dinner.

Picard was wearing his dress uniform (the one that actually looks like a dress.) However, as soon as he had come into the room, he regretted it. Will, Geordi, and Worf were all wearing Tuxedos. Even Data was wearing one! Every one was wearing extremely fancy clothing, except Picard. He was stuck there in a ugly, oversized dress that looked worse than Wesley's sweaters. He just tried to pretend that he was too important not to be wearing his uniform.

As if the banquet wasn't going to be terrible enough for Picard, Wesley was there. He was standing talking to Riker and LaForge like they were his friends. No, this was outrageous! Those were Picard's friends! The captain got up and went over to Wesley and the men he was talking to. Riker greeted him as he approached.

"Hey Captain, want some champagne?"

Picard ignored him."Boy!" he shouted, "What are you doing at this banquet?"

"Commander Riker said I could come with my mom," explained Wesley.

Picard glared at Riker, then glowered at the boy. He stalked back over to his place at the head of the huge, rectangular table. He tapped his spoon on his glass several times to call everyone to the feast.

"Hello, officers and crewman, I am pleased to host this banquet tonight. However, Riker is really the one to thank for all this, it was his idea," everyone applauded at Riker, "I hope all of you enjoy this wonderful feast prepared for you by the finest chefs in Starfleet."Picard sat down.

Riker stood. "Before you eat, I have a question to ask. "Miss Troi, would you please stand up?"

Looking confused, she started walking over to Riker. Picard thought it strange he had called her _Miss_ Troi, instead of _Counselor _Troi. He wondered what Riker was up to. He now had that excited, bouncing up and down smile.

Troi came right in front of Riker, he took her hand in his and got down on one knee. He pulled out a box containing a ring out of his jacket and held it out to her. He spoke the unforgettable words. "Deanna Troi, will you marry me?"

The quiet chatter that had been going on before stopped. Everyone swiveled around in their chairs. The room was dead silent. Everyone awaited her response.

Troi was so choked up, she could barely answer. "Riker, yes. Yes!" her eyes were glowing.

Riker slid the ring on her hand, then stood up and hugged her. "I love you," they said in unison.

The ballroom erupted in cheers, laughter, and excited chatter. Picard was the only on e that wasn't making noise. '_What?_' His head screamed. He could not believe his young first officer was getting married. Riker was probably 30 at the most. Picard was much older (Lets just say around 50.) Either way, looking back on the past couple weeks, it was pretty obvious that he was going to propose.

Once again, Picard felt a large pang of jealousy. Why did Riker always get the happy ending? It wasn't fair! Then, Picard got an idea. He should marry Dr. Crusher! That way it wouldn't be wrong for them to have a baby. But, there was just one problem. Picard had a fear of commitment.

He went to his quarters to try to overcome his fear, where he realized that there were more reasons why he couldn't marry the doctor.

One reason was that she was still mad at him. Another, was that he couldn't get married that soon after Will. It would look like he was copying him. The last and worst obstacle was Wesley, of course. He would have to be his stepfather.

Picard shuddered. The thought of being Wesley's stepfather was absolutely repulsive.

Then Picard had another brilliant idea! He would just ignore Dr. Crusher. He could pretend it never happened. Then maybe, just maybe, no one else would notice either.


End file.
